Monday, December 14, 2009

THINGS I HATE ABOUT SHOPPING!

1. Shopping—period.

Okay, so I’m not one of those girls who can spend hours in a mall. If you ever want to torture me, forget bamboo shoots under the fingernails just send me to a crowded mall and make me shop for hours. I’ll give up all kinds secrets just to go home. Honestly, all malls aren’t medieval torture devices. I actually like Arundel Mills Mall. They have a gi-normus Books-A-Million and a 24 Theater Cineplex—my two favorite things.

2. Crowds.

I’ve never been one to tolerate a lot of people around me. Well, that’s not exactly true. When I was a teen and going to nightclubs, the more crowded, the better! But when I have to hold my purse like a baby, wait for people to get out of the way so I can get down the isle, or when I have to listen to what you and your boyfriend did last night because you’re WAY too close to me, then I HATE crowds.

3. The Toy Section/Store

What kind of place in hell is this? I mean, I don’t have kids so I don’t frequent the toy store/section. Does it normally look like a herd of buffalo have just stampeded it? Then you have the parents and their big shopping carts blocking the isle, snatching, grabbing, and shoving for those picked over shelves. The funny thing is I went down there to look for a toy for my mother. She loves Elmo and toys with animatronics so I wanted to get her the Elmo Live (the one where he tells jokes like a standup comedian—what can I say, my mother is 10x corny). First it was $60—which made me say, hell-to-the-no—and second, it was dirty and looked like it was on its last leg…ugh! It was the worst. What am I going to do when I have kids?

4. Traffic!

This bugs me at any time, but as someone who has a 7 minute commute to work, I’m not terribly plagued with traffic on a daily basis. I was nearly KILLED in the parking lot of Joann Fabrics. As I was crossing the road to my car, this woman, who had driven past me already, stopped and threw her car in reverse because she saw someone pulling out of a spot. SHE NEVER LOOKED BEHIND HER! I had to leap out of the way or she would’ve run me over!

I know what you’re thinking, Karen, you’re a writer and tend to be a tad dramatic. Nay I say, NAY! I would’ve been a fixture on her bumper if I hadn’t been quick on my feet. There isn’t much that’ll make me resort to violence, but I think about if I had my God children with me, or my mom who isn’t feeble by any means but she’s not so quick on her feet. This backward-driving-looking-forward woman would’ve hit them. I think I might’ve flipped her car over like the Incredible Hulk if that had happened.

Now, all I have to say is BA-HUMBUG!

17 comments:

Karilynnlove said...

I'm 100% with you on all of these! I'm a hermit!
I think the solution to all of these would have to be shopping online and hoping the shipping charges aren't horrible!
Happy Holidays!

V. S said...

shopping is not my most favorite past time either.

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

hahahahahahahaha! great rant.
I'm with you on all the above. I avoid malls at all cost but if I have to go I'm holding my breath until I get out.
And you are so right about the toys (and books). Parents let their kids play with merchandize, mouth it, teeth on it, sneeze on it. Blegh.

Corey Schwartz said...

OMG, I am the same way! I HATE shopping. (That's why I make 99% of my purchases on Amazon!)

Stephanie said...

I'm not a fan of crowds or messy stores (but for the oddest reason, I love shopping on Black Friday...go figure!)....so I try my very hardest to get my Christmas shopping done very early so I can avoid all malls and stores once the mad rush hits.

But otherwise...I absolutely LOVE to shop....I just love buying new things...no matter what it is...clothes for me or the kids, new things for the house...even groceries!!! I love replenishing my pantry and fridge!! LOL!

if I'm in a bad mood....buying something for myself ALWAYS makes me feel better!!

Karen Denise said...

Good to see I'm not alone. I did some shpping on Amazon since my sister lives in a different state and I could ship for free, but other gifts, I foolishly thought I could be in and out...silly amateur I am.

Stephanie said...

And it discusts me how disrespectful people are i stores....liek seriously...can you not put stuff back where it belongs??? Makes you wonder what their houses look like!!

Oh and for the record...the only toys I let my kids hold or play with in the store are ones we are definitely buying!

Karen Denise said...

LOL Stephanie, we must've ben posting around the same time. I have to say, I don't get it, but my mother is the same. And don't get me wrong, I like getting things, I love clothes and shoes and purses but I just don't want to go through the process of going into a store, picking it out, trying it on and then buy them.

...Hey, maybe you can be my personal shopper! Well, I'll need money first, but the minute I get some, you're HIRED!

Tere Kirkland said...

LOL, I love shopping, but I hate crowds. It's maddening. Glad you're not a bumper sticker. ;)

Jemi Fraser said...

I'm a nonshopper too. I tend to go on shopping marathons at this time of year because I don't want to go out often. Then my feet hurt and I'm overtired. Probably doesn't help my opinion of shopping :)

Bethany Mattingly said...

I go back and forth, I think. Some days I love it and could do it all day. Then, there are the days when I feel exactly like you do about the entire experience.

Karen Denise said...

I guess I could make an edit to my post...I do like to shop at certain places. I LOVE Crate & Barrel, Williams Sonnoma and Bed Bath & Beyond. I like kitchen stuff-lol.

Julie said...

I can handle Target and Old Navy. The mall? Forget it. :)

~Ellie Kings~ said...

And here I was thinking I was the only woman in the world who hated shopping. We should start a group! :) Except for Stephanie and Tere who love shopping. We'll include Bethany when she makes up her mind. :)

Sharon Mayhew said...

Karen...You won my contest...if you'll send me your address I'll mail you the gift card. skmayh (at) q (dot) com

Sharon Mayhew said...

I love shopping ten months of the year. You can guess which two months I don't enjoy. I have 15 nieces and nephews...I used to buy them all something special...this year...it's gift cards...maybe I'll put them in an envelope. I'm right there with you...Ba-Humbug!

Karen Denise said...

Yes, Ellie, we need to have a club and hire Stephanie and Tere to be our personal shoppers. I still need to get gifts for my stepdad...any takers?

Sharon! AWESOME! I'm winning contests left and right. I'll be off to send you an email in a minute. Thank you!