Sunday, December 6, 2009

A Dabble of Dialogue

I borrowed this idea from Buffy Andrews site, Buffy’s Write Zone. Go check out her page. She has some good info!

Below is a Dabble of Dialogue from Venators (the second in the the Light Bringer's Trilogy). In the comments, add a Dabble of Dialogue from something you’re working on, querying, or even if you shelved this work, but loved a particularly witty, deep, or emotional exchange, post it in the comments!

“I thought we could be mates,” Heath said.

“Mates? You mean friends?”

He nodded.

“But,”—Jessica swallowed—“I wanna be more than that.”

“I know,” he said softly.

“But you don’t wanna be more?” She didn’t let him answer. “I think it’s mean to come over here night after night, knowing I…I have feelings…”

Heath stared at the floor. “I’m sorry. I hadn’t thought of it like that.” He met her eyes. “I’ll leave you alone.”

“That’s not what I want. I want us to be—”

“I can’t offer you more than friends, Jessica. You’re right, it’s unfair of me to hang around, just because I like talking to you. I’ll just go then.” He backed up until he was against the wall. Before he could Faze through and leave her, possibly forever, Jessica rushed forward and hugged him. Heath paused for a shocked second, and then wrapped his arms around her and squeezed.

“If you ever need to talk…” Her voice quivered. She felt like she had just given her soldier boyfriend a Dear John letter.

Now it’s your turn…gimme some of that juicy dialogue!


Amna said...

I love great, witty dialogue!

Alas, I have nothing worthy to share.

Karen Denise said...

Oh, Amna, I'm sure you do. But rest assured, I'll feature this post again.

Jemi Fraser said...

To me, dialogue is the best indicator of character. I feel like I know your 2 characters from just that small passage. Nice!

Tamika: said...

Great dialogue is priceless. It pulls the reader into the action instantly. You did a good job of doing that and making me wonder why Heath won't get close to Jessica.

Very good!

Karen Denise said...

Thanks Jemi and Tamika, feel free to post a dabble of dialogue of your own in the comments!

Sarah said...

“I know I’m flirting with the devil,” I finally remarked, biting my lip and waiting for Gabriel to look at me.

When he did, he smiled. “I think it is pretty remarkable, solving a riddle that was set out for you personally.”

“Oh please, Gabriel. If you boost her ego any more she’s going to hit her head on the ceiling,” Elliot snarled. “Yes, finding your magic apple given to you by your grand daddy that just happened to be in the syndicate’s inner circle is just a step forward for us,” she drawled sarcastically. “I can see why you all are so thrilled.”

“If you aren’t, you’re welcome to go practice your high kicks down in the basement,” Adrian muttered.

“I can also practice them on the base of your skull.”

What a fun post! :-) Loved reading the dialogue too.

Karen Denise said...

Sarah, loved that last line!

Linda Kage said...

I don't have anything good to share today either, but... I just loved reading your dialogue. I think dialogue is my favoriate part of a story!!