Friday, March 5, 2010

Lost a Follower

So as I reported a few days ago, I had reached 100 followers! When I started this blog I wanted to meet people, other writers, people in the industry and simply make new friends. When the numbers started to climb for my followers it made me so happy. I love reading blogs and it delighted me that people wanted to tune in and read what I had to say.

So the other day when I pulled up my blog and saw that I was down to 99, I have to say that my feelings were hurt. Who would suddenly stop following me and why? Did I say something to offend someone? Did I not update enough to keep someone’s interest?

I had all sorts of questions and I’ll even admit to doing a preliminary search of my list of followers to see who had jumped ship. Well, as I was at work I couldn’t commit to an all-out down and dirty hunt—which I had planned to do the moment I got home—but a funny thing happened…

When I got home I was no longer in the mood to hunt for my lost friend. Maybe I was tired by then—after the killer workout—but I think it was more that I’d resolved to simply let it go. Truth is, not everyone is going to like me, not everyone is going to be interested in what I have to say, not everyone is going to want to be my friend. As I thought about this, I realized that whoever this person was who stopped following me had every right to do so without me seeking them out and trying to figure out why they stopped following me.

Believe me, as someone who was once called “Machete Mouth,” because of my razor sharp tongue, I know that not everyone will like me—most people do though. *wink-wink* I was more surprised by my reaction to this than the actual loss of a follower. I guess on some level we all want people to gather around and hang on our words, but the truth is, that’s not going to happen.

What I know is, I have great people tuning into my blog. People who care about what I have to say, people who are funny and smart and interesting and hopefully they find those characteristics in me as well. I also know that I’ll surely gain more followers just as I know I’ll probably lose some more on the way...but it’s all good.

Take care my 99 lovelies!

22 comments:

Tricia J. O'Brien said...

Hi Karen,
I've had followers disappear before and have no idea who it was. At a certain point, it's hard to keep track. But others come along. Sometimes, I think it's just some glitch in the system. Or the person may follow too many blogs and decide to let some go. I've decided not to worry about it, either. The most important thing is to enjoy writing the posts and visiting with others. You'll go up and over 100 in no time.

Your Friendly Neighborhood Palindrome said...

You know, a few years ago I had an epiphany. People are like food. Example: I am a pineapple. Not everyone likes pineapple & that's okay with me. I don't like bananas. You are perfect the way you are because you are you. : )

p.s. it wasn't me ; )

MeganRebekah said...

I hate when that happens!! Like you, it always makes me wonder what I did wrong. Am I that boring? Do they hate me?
Then I force myself to remember that (1) not everyone might like me and (2) there could be other explanations. Sometimes people switch from following publicly to following privately, which deletes their number. Some people close their blogs down all together (or blogger sometimes shuts them down). In the end, just keep doing what you like, and what you're proud of, and try not to let actions out of your control get to you!

Natalie said...

Isn't it funny how much followers start to mean to us? I've had a lot of people unfollow me. When it happens I always wonder, "was it something I said?" "Have I not visited them enough?" "Was it one of the people whose blog I couldn't find?" "Did the think I didn't like them?" But in the end it doesn't really matter, I do what I can, and that won't be enough sometimes.

But just know I'm still here to see what you have to say, even if I don't always comment. Take care. You'll be over 100 in no time.

Amna said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks this.

Natalie Murphy said...

Maybe they left because of a busy schedule??

Either way, I'm happy you didn't take it too personally. They probably didn't mean to make you sad!

=)

Karen Denise said...

See, you guys are awesome!
And Hannah, I love pineapple :-)

Angie said...

I used to think that people with a large number of followers would never even notice if I started or stopped following, but I know that I know whenever someone joins or leaves. I wonder too if I said something wrong, but there are a million reasons why a person might stop following. I'm glad that I started following your blog!

Elle Strauss said...

Thanks for your honest post. This has happened to me a couple of times, and I just thought it was a glitch in the blogger counting system! :)

But you made good points. If people did leave, then they have their reasons. I'm blogging the way I blog. I can't start worrying that what I say might make someone leave. That would be crippling.

Tara said...

I don't comment often, but I really enjoy your blog. If you go through my blog list, I have very few (maybe 2-3 total) black background blogs. They really hurt my eyes for some reason. So if you have a black-lit blog and I follow, that means you are super duper excellent ;)

I would guess that when people drop blogs it because they are trying to trim their list. I've thought about it, but the only ones I'd be willing to quit are blogs that get updated so infrequently it wouldn't make any difference in my daily reading.

Or maybe your word ver. is scaring people off - I just got nutitic. Well, at least it didn't call me a lunitic, lol!

Tamika: said...

It's happened to me too. I started the witch hunt looking for the lost follower arrows blazing. Then I chuckled at my own extremities.

People have a choice in how they choose to spend their time and who they choose to spend it with. If God allows free will- who am I.

Karen Denise said...

Angie--You're right. I used to think that too, especially for those people who have like 600 followers, but I think even if I had 2635 followers, I'd notice if the next time I had 2634. I'm glad you started following my blog too! :-)

Thanks Elle, and you're right. You can't blog, or do anything for that matter, worried that someone may not like it and take their toys and leave. You simply have to be who you are and try your best not to be negligent with people's feelings and beliefs.

Tara--How awesome are you to risk eye strain/pain to read my blog? LOL. I'm sorry about the black background. I really like it, but I mainly like it because the YA novel I was recently querying was called Light Bringers and when I did a Google image search for Light Bringers the pic in my heading came up. I thought it was awesome because the girl in my novel, who actually is a Light Bringer, has a power which manifests light through her hands. Therefore I tried to match the background with that picture. Anyway, so that was a long way to explain the black background. Rest assured when I start querying my next novel, I'll change the background to reflect that novel...and it probably won't be black-lol.

Karen Denise said...

So true, Tamika...I had to laugh at my mental picture of you with arrows blazing-lol.

Jennifer Shirk said...

Maybe I need to watch my followers more. LOL
I wouln't worry about it at all. It's not you, some people switch blogs and they don't use the Google connect anymore.

Amanda Borenstadt said...

Oh no. Well, you still have a lot more subscribers than I do. I only just got my tenth.

Jemi Fraser said...

Machete Mouth?? That's hysterical and really, really hard to imagine!! :)

Solvang Sherrie said...

I've had it happen too. But there are so many possible reasons you could drive yourself nuts worrying about it. You've still got 99 people who like you :)

Karen Denise said...

Well, Jemi that comment came from an ex boyfriend and after I'd just tore him a new one--it was well deserved--but he said I'd cut him to pieces with my Machete Mouth...we laugh about it now as we're still friends.

Thanks for all the great comments. It's good to know I'm not alone-lol.

Niki said...

There's something at my blog for you :o)

Tracy said...

Sometimes people will change the way they follow you as well. I know a few people who comment regularly on my blog are followers through some other kind of reader that doesn't show up on my sidebar. Also, some will decide to follow privately as well for whatever reason. Or, they've got too much on their plate and unfollowed...it could be anything!

zz said...

ha ha machete mouth. Actually, why am I laughing that sounds really scary :$

Karen Denise said...

Ohh, Niki, I'm on my way over to see what you've got for me!

ZZ, you'll be happy to know that my machete mouth has been dulled to maybe a butter knife mouth. It can still cut, but not as sharply.

Thanks Tracy. I never thought about people following me through other ways. You guys are great and I'm so glad you stop by to offer advice.