Friday, January 7, 2011

A Word About Jealousy

Yesterday I was at lunch reading a printout of Authoress’ post about how she landed the awesome Josh Getzler as her agent! I loved the story and commented, out loud, that I was 95% happy for Authoress and only 5% jealous.

One of my lunch companions said, “Jealousy is such a wasted emotion. I never get jealous.”

Hum…let’s examine that.

First, I was probably 98% joking and 2% serious, but can anyone honestly say they NEVER get jealous?

I don’t think so.

Personally, I agree with part of that statement. Jealousy IS a wasted emotion. And for the majority of my day-to-day life, I’m not a jealous person. I don’t covet my neighbor’s husband, house, or fine automobile. I really do look at the world and think, “You never know what’s going on behind closed doors so coveting could get you something you definitely do not want.” The grass isn’t always as green as it looks.

However, I’m also honest. And being an honest person means that when I read stories from authors who just signed with an awesome agent (yes, I mean you, Josh!) I get a pang of jealousy. I want that too! And to me, it’s only natural to feel that pang when you’ve worked hard for something and it’s right at your fingertips, but you haven’t been able to grab it yet.

I don’t take anything away from Authoress. She has done far more than I think even she imagined for unagented authors. And while I’m 5% jealous of her, I would never want to dismiss her achievements or even envy them. She’s worked hard and she certainly deserves all the great things to come.

I just want to sign with Josh too…is that so wrong? *blinks kitten eyes*

So tell me, am I alone? It’s okay if I am. I’ll live on my 5% island of jealousy. It’s really only the size of a postage stamp. I swear.


MG Higgins said...

Of course you're not alone! I appreciate your honesty.

Karen Denise said...

Thanks MG. Glad to see I'm not all by myself-lol.

Joanne Fritz said...

Oh, you're definitely not alone! I'm always at least a little jealous every time I hear of someone getting an agent or a contract. But I'm also happy for them at the same time.

I think you can be both.

Stephanie said...

You are not alone!!!!! I know exactly what you mean!!! It's jealousy, but not in a negative way...if that makes any sense?? I've seen many bloggers who I've met over the last year and a half sign with agents and publishers. I do feel jealous....I'm working just as hard too. Why hasn't it happened for me?? But I don't spend too long dwelling on it and use it to work even harder...I use it to push myself further when I have no other motivation. And of course I feel no ill-will toward anyone...I know how hard others have bee working...and they deserve it. But sometimes it's really hard to see it happen for others and not ask "When's it my turn?"

Karen Denise said...

See, Joanne, it's okay to be 95% happy and 5% jealous. More happy is always good!

Yes, Stephanie! Jealousy but not in a negative way. You want it too without taking away from the person who got it. And yeah, I find myself asking, "When's my turn" too. But then I just go back to my writing and it passes.

Melissa said...

You are so honest and I totally agree. I feel the same way a lot of the time when I find out stuff like that too.

Karen Denise said...

Oh, Melissa, it's getting crowded on my 5% island...but that's okay. It's filled with honest people who can admit when they get a bit jealous. :-)

Authoress said...

I just happened across this post while skating around on Google.

****big hugs****

I totally understand. I watched every person in my lil' online crit circle EXCEPT ONE get agented before I did.

And now that we've begun the submission process, I've got to fight those twangs of UGH, WHY NOT ME ALREADY? when someone sells.

So normal. Stinky, but normal.

What a thoughtfully written post. And so transparent. I love transparency.

Glad I found this. And wishing you the very best! :)